I fee like i'm not good enough, like i have nothing going for me, and no one here for me. like if i died, it wouldn't matter, except i'm too much of a coward to kill myself. like i wanna die, but not be the one to do it. like if i died, maybe someone would miss me, maybe then they'd care.
Don’t you dare say you aren’t good enough. You are enough- you are beautiful. You are here, and you have a right just as much as any other human being to be loved and cared for. So you think no one care for you? That won’t be for long. Honestly, screw it. Do you expect someone to care for you, when you don’t even care for yourself? When you don’t even care for your own existence? You aren’t a coward for not taking your own life, you are however, strong enough not to. Honestly, I know things are probably shit right now, and that you might feel-or who knows- maybe no one currently cares, but honestly, you are alive, you have the skin on your body, to help you touch and feel, you have the eyes in your eyeballs to, go look at wonderful things, inspirational things, you have the lips and tongue in your body, to make you taste, and you have those beautiful ears of yours, to help you hear beautiful sounds. Most importantly, you have the capability to give yourself pleasure. Honestly, you don’t need someone right now to care for you, you need to care for yourself, and fucking open your eyes, you are living, you are allowed to experience so much things. Yeah sure, maybe people would care for you after you passed. But, whats the point of that then? You will already be gone. That’s kind of upsetting, no? Honestly, if the people you have surrounded yourself currently, only would care for you after you passed, then they are shitty people, and you need to find better ones to surround yourself with. You don’t deserve people who only care for you, when the absence of your presence comes about, you need people who cherish you and care for your current present you, the one that is walking, talking, breathing and living life. I’m not saying that you can just one day stop being upset, and feeling like you aren’t good enough. But honestly, there is a reason you are on this planet, there is a reason why you are living the life you are living, and for fuck sake it would be a shame to lose you. Don’t give up. Never give up. And show the basterds who don’t care for you right now, that you know how to fucking live. Trust me when I say this, you don’t need others to care for you, you need yourself to care for you, you need music, and art, and film, and things that inspire you and make you think. The people- the interactions-the relationships-will come on their own- without any effort. You are worth it, you are worth having a life. I don’t know if this helped, I don’t know maybe I just went on a rant, but I hope this helps you. I am always here. Stay strong, and don’t forget, you are living, and you have a chance to experience wonders.